I Have a Headache.

(TO BE READ WITH A HEAVY EASTERN-EUROPEAN ACCENT)

It's really an interesting story.

You see my cousin and I had just moved into this tiny apartment in Bohan. Don't ask why... it's a long story involving the Russian mob and some not so good ideas on my part. Anyway, we get to this place and even though it's a feces-hole, he's as happy as a clam. An optimist, he says. I call it idiocy.

I leave the big moron to his glee and decide I'd better get to know my new surroundings. I've only been in Liberty City for a few weeks, and most of that time was spent in Dukes and Broker, you know? So anyway, I hop on this bike I... requisitioned for myself and start touring my new neighborhood. It's worse than Broker and Dukes by a landslide. Everything seems more rundown and tired. But I suppose it makes me a feel a little more at home too... not at all unlike Serbia.

So I start messing around with the bike, you know, going up stairs with it, tooling around in the grass at the local park... just screwing off, right? The local police apparently don't take kindly to this kind of mischief and next thing I know I find myself on the un-fun end of a high speed pursuit. But my bike can go where their cars can't.

I just have to learn to be more careful where I go.

I hopped the motorcycle up onto a sort of porch of this bank or something, trying to make a shortcut of it, and drive right off the top of the stairs that lead back down to the street so I can hang a right and hopefully lose the cops. But I often forget how tall I am, it seems.

There was an archway above the staircase and my bike was going a bit too fast. Needless to say I was clotheslined by the thing right off the back of my chopper. I lost a few teeth, my helmet cracked in half (thank God I was wearing one), and my bike now has a few love-bites in its fender. I'm alright, and I did get back on the bike and motor off, but man I have a headache now. And I'm pretty sure I left a spattering of my blood all over the archway.

But hey... what's life without a few bumps in bruises? I'm just not sure yet if I was better off in the merchant navy or if I made the right choice in coming here to live with Roman. This is the land of opportunity alright, but I've yet to make one right choice it seems.